OBI-WAN THE MURDERER

My name is Owen Lars, moisture farmer extraordinaire. My step-brother, Anakin Skywalker, was betrayed and murdered by his mentor, Obi-wan Kenobi. I know this because Watto told me. This blog site is intended to raise awareness in the greater Mos Eisley area that this criminal is at large, living in our community, and what I, and hopefully others who care, plan to do about it.

20051004

Darth Vader

I waited all day for Carl, but he never returned from his assassination mission. He must be hung up somewhere. The paper today said that Wass Kombil would be attending the annual conference for planetary peace. Between that and the fact that he’s the key witness in Dad’s trial, security around him must be tight. Carl’s probably just watching and waiting for the right time to strike.

As usual, I got a mailbox full of junk mail today. I was just about to strew it all over Obi-Wan’s property when something caught my eye. It was a leaflet from the new Empire addressed to, “resident”. It was basically a public relations gimmick to introduce the new government to the galaxy. I took it inside and read it cover to cover.

Inside were biographies of several high-ranking Imperial officials, including Emperor Palpatine, Grand Moff Tarkin, and a sinister-looking android-man named Darth Vader. Only Vader’s biography was labeled, “classified,” and so it said nothing of his background. Curious, I read on. The leaflet stated that the Empire is looking for people to help build their new battle station. It seems they simply don’t have enough slave and droid labor, so they’re willing to relocate people who want to move there. Food, board, and a small salary will be given to anyone who participates.

I put the information aside and began daydreaming. That would be so cool to leave Tatooine behind and start a wonderful new life in space. But I realized it was hopeless, as I have the farm to deal with, a father in jail, a Padme-dog, and I’m on probation for a hundred years. I did, however, keep going back to that picture of Darth Vader. I don’t know why, but there was something very familiar about him. Not the costume, itself, but something else; something behind the mask.

I went out to do some farming when I saw Obi-Wan getting his mail. I grabbed my electro binoculars to see him up close. He had received the same leaflet from the Empire, only he totally freaked out when he saw it. He kept pointing at the photo of Darth Vader and shouting. I couldn’t make out all the words, but at least 2 ½ of them were obscenities. He ran inside like he was on fire. I’ll bet he’s getting ready to talk to that dead Jedi, again. Man, I wish I could hear THAT conversation.

Maybe I can! My R2 unit is in working order again, so why can’t I send him over there to record what goes on, like in the old days? Without wasting any time, I programmed the little tin terror and sent him next door. Man, I hope he comes back with something good!

Lars- out!

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